Needs some polishing.
I'm no expert but the chorus or feat. rapper (1:00-1:53) was a bit sloppy, slow, and awkward. As for your rapping (Hoping it's you in the start and the finish) The first critique I have is Mood Vs. Delivery, the rap was a story about your life and how depressing it was and what happened but you sound monotone through ought like you really don't care. The last short verse was better than the other too but it was bit sloppy sounding, like syllables were meshing together or you stumbled over them, and also this is more of my personal taste but the cursing makes it feel like you needed to add extra syllables so you threw fuck in for the hell of it. I like it but it does need some polishing.
Grade: D, Good try but it's only the start if you want a masterpiece.
Diamond in the rough.
At the end it seems a bit repetitive, and the back beat doesn't really match with the sample when he sings but other than that its a solid song. I found myself freestyling along and having fun so I might write something a little more concrete later but all in all its a solid piece.
Thanks, for the review! I've got you're PM xD Hehe, appreciate it! Let me know if you gonna use it for a song.
This is great
I've been in a sort of writting slump but this piece right here inspired me to continue writting my story, what you say in here is poetic. I've been there done that and then picked up a pen and started writting. Hope you make it out there!
I'm glad I've inspired you! I wish you all the best with your writing, and thank you!
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